Tonight we have Parent/Teacher Conferences. We do this twice a year: once in the fall and now in the spring. The best advice I ever got about Parent/Teacher conferences, I got from my mother (who is not a teacher). She looked forward to her first conference with the first grade teacher of her first child. She sat down and waited with her hands folded in anticipation. Miss Matthews (who I loved and knew loved me, too) started with a smile and a big sigh. "There is something about Annie I can't put my finger on. She reads beautifully, but there is something..."
My mother didn't hear the rest. She fought back the tears until she got out of the room. She had been so sure that Miss Matthews would see what she saw and was so disappointed to find that that it was not known, seen, or celebrated by my teacher.
Before I begin each conference I remind myself what special gifts I see in the child. And I begin by naming them. This is an opportunity to celebrate family, parenting, life. And sometimes it is the time to name battles and assure the parent that they can be won. I do that, too.
I loved Miss Matthews. Her picture is on my desk at school. She told me that when she had children she hoped she would have a little girl just like me. That probably would have been a good way to start the conference. It would have made all the difference.
5 comments:
This is so lovely. I always ask my teachers to start conversations with parents by affirming the child. I think parents really want us to know their children and if we show that we do, we have a great first step toward partnerships.
I taught special ed. for many years, and the IEP team would always start the meeting by sharing all the wonderful progress and strengths of the child. I agree that it should be "A Love Fest"!
I learned something from this post about how to talk to parents. Thank you!
~T-Dawg
Thank you for reminding us all to always acknowledge something good at the beginning of a conference. I think that it's important to remind parents that we not only look at the things they should improve, but also celebrate the strengths they have.
So true.
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